Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
