So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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