I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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