you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
birth control should be required to get into college
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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