Sponge bath it is.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
