Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
