Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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