im having a threesome with these popsicles
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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