One girl and one boy is just not enough.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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