I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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