'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
