I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
