I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize