you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
