Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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