I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Randomize
