and i looked up. we had an audience...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Why is your signature on my underwear?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
