It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
