Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
