I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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