I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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