I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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