based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
