Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
