You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize