So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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