dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
this hospital has no fireball
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
