I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
