Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
