Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
