The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
