If that was your dad, he is hot
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just want to make out with him forever
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize