just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
