Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i drank out of a bidet.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
