OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We left an ass print on the piano.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
