if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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