I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
