There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
