I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
