I feel like I'm in dance class right now
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
