Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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