He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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