his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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