i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
