come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
