Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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