Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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