"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
