He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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