Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
