angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
