she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
