maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
