why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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