you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize