you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize