Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
