Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
