Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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